“Wedding day. I can’t wait to see her. I can’t believe this is really happening. I can’t believe I’ve finally got her. I can’t believe we survived everything. Eight years back, I had no idea this random girl with the curliest hair ever would end up meaning the world to me. I had no idea this irritating pain in the ass would become my everything. I still remember our first meeting. She was the new girl in school and she was trying to make new friends. Man, I teased her so much. I think she started crying, although she still doesn’t talk to me about it. I was so mean to her and I felt so guilty afterwards. I remember how my friends had to literally force me to apologise to her. I guess I thought that apologising would make me seem small in her eyes. Meh. I’m actually glad that I apologised. Because that’s when we became the closest friends. And I started noticing the little things about her. Like how she tucked her hair behind her ears at least five times an hour. How she hated her hair for being curly. How she loved hugs and all those small little gestures of love. How her nose twitched every time she tried to lie. How she hated people with curves because she was so skinny. How she was willing to sacrifice everything for the people she loved. What she didn’t realise was that she was the most beautiful skinny person I’d ever seen. She didn’t realize that I hated straight hair. She didn’t realise that seeing her hair frame her face the way they did, was the most beautiful sight a person could see. She was the most kind-hearted person I’d ever met and I guess all these qualities of hers are the reason I fell for her. I don’t even know how or when it happened. I just remember waking up one day and wishing she was next to me. I remember the warm and fuzzy feelings I started feeling whenever her name flashed on my mobile screen. I still don’t know what I’ve done to deserve her. We’ve been through so much together. We’ve had so many fights. There have been times when we haven’t talked to each other for months on end. I don’t know about her but man, those months were torturous for me. I missed her so much. Those fights made me realise that I can’t survive a day without talking to her. They made me realise that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this annoying piece of shit. My annoying piece of shit. Words are not enough to describe how much I love her. How grateful I am to god that I have her. And that’s surprising because up until I met her, I used to be an atheist.
I’m marrying her today. She’s going to walk down the aisle, looking flawless. As always. I’m gonna take her hands and say my vows. I’m gonna tell her I love her. I’m gonna tell her I’ll be with her through thick and thin. I’m gonna tell her that I’m the luckiest man on earth. And then, I’m gonna kiss her. And she’ll be mine.”
I closed my journal. I felt a little embarrassed because I’d never really read my journal out to anybody but her mother before. But she’d found it and forced me to read it to her. She was so similar to her mother that way. Stubborn and tenacious. She was also as beautiful as her mother.
“How was it?” I asked my daughter.
“Daddy, it’s beautiful. But can I ask you something?”, she said.
“Yes darling, of course.”
“If you loved mommy so much, why’d you let god take her?”
The type of questions my seven year old daughter asked me. God.
I pulled her onto my lap and said,” Honey, your mother was an angel. And God needed her more than we did. Your mommy was very sick and because god loved her so much, he couldn’t see her suffer. So, he decided to end her pain and took her to heaven.”
“Is mommy happy there?”
“Yes darling, she is. Your mommy is very happy.”
“How do you know, daddy?”
“I just know, honey. I just do.”
(also posted on thegreentiara)